Until now I’m fine… I mean, I wasn’t this morning, since I love to get off the bus and light one up and walk to the office. But the moment I step inside the office, my urge for a cigg evaporates… Until the moment I step out of the office… Which is in 1,5 hour. I am keeping myself busy with work, but somehow today, I am distracted just as easily…

So today I should have a slightly easier day… Should… Today I should prepare my lunch for the upcoming days. Today I should go for a run at least half an hour again. Today I should drink a bit more. Today I should stop blogging and continue working…

A reason the website gives: your clothes won’t smell anymore…

Call me nuts, but I love the smell of tobacco… It reminds me of a lot of things. The mix of perfume and tobacco of my dad. The taste of coffee and ciggs of my ex. The smell of kretek in Indonesia. The taste of it after a good dinner. The habit of it during a night out in the town.

Stupid excuses, I am continuing this!

Today is the day & I almost forgot… I’ve decided to join the challenge and honestly, I don’t get anything for it (except for slightly cleaner lungs), but I thought this would be a good moment to seize the opportunity and quit… Forever is the plan this time… (like all the other times…)

So in order to join the challenge, you just need to fill in a couple of questions and in return, a few Dutch celebs will do something that make them wet their pants. I challenged Dennis, who will get into a plane and do stunts. The others would be washing windows (hmm…) and do something with snakes (boring…) so yeah… 24 hours… I received a text as a reminder last night and I thought… Well good, I almost finished my pack anyway… Hahah… Except for one, but maybe it’s a good thing to throw it away… Good for my mental state regarding smoking… Have to admit, it hurts a bit to throw away a perfectly good ciggarette, but yeah… So it hurts, who cares, I’ve had worse…

So another 14 hours and 22 min and the rest of my life… You read on a lot of support websites about how to quit smoking and a lot of questions that you should ask yourself… Why do you wanna quit? Advice on why you should quit, etc. Honestly I don’t like to read all those reasons, it’s like a mirror and I know very well why I do and why I don’t want to quit. But when I think about it, all my reasons for quitting are a bit… Well… For the long run and indirectly focused on me..

I wanna quit, because I want to improve my chances on my december run, my spring run and eventually the NY marathon… I want to quit, because the smokers lung I saw at the BODIES exhibition scared the hell out of me (yes, it pops into my mind every time I light a cigg) and I want to quit, because some day, and this is waaaayyy on the long run, I want to have a family and I need a healthy body for that…

So enough talking and pondering about quitting and how and why and bla… I will quit this time! Hahah.. According to one website, I shouldn’t say “I want to quit”, but I should say “I quit smoking”. Good one huh…

*smoke free* muah